A thousand tiny cobwebs
by AutumnRain171
Summary: My thoughts on what Nick was up to in season 3 and what might happen next.


_**Present**_

They didn't have a lot of food left. He cut up the stale bread into tiniest pieces, poured the leftover water into separate bottles (only about a quarter full each) for breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow. Hopefully they won't have to stay much longer. He'll gather some berries after she goes to sleep tonight, but how long can you last on berries? They have some bread and cheese for 2 more days and after that... he couldn't hunt since the gunshots will be heard, and had no idea how to catch wild animals any other way without any supplies. But he'll have to figure it out if it comes to it.

He shook his head bitterly, wishing there was something else he could do to make the wait easier for her. Or more fun. Or more hopeful. He didn't know what to talk to her about, and didn't want to make any promises. His plans A and B worked out, but not exactly how he planned, so they were stuck in the abandoned shed in the middle of the woods God knows where. But they were close. So so close.

So he made them go over the plan again. And again. And again.

"If I tell you to run, you run. If I tell you to hide, you hide. If you see your mom, but I tell you to hide, what do you do?"

"I hide," - Hannah echoed. She knew the drill by now. She remembered the last time she was hiding and running in the woods. She was little, but she remembered. She'll do better this time.

They were sitting on the dirty wooden floor of the shed, facing each other. There was nothing else there. A shovel, some old moldy pieces of wood, metal scraps. The walls were barely holding up, but the roof was okay, kept the rain out. For that, Nick was thankful. It was cold enough as it is, being wet would have made their undesirable stay here much worse. He made a bed for the girl by the wall that seemed the most dry, put some blankets and her stuffed bear. "A nest", she called it.

Tomorrow, he hoped. He'll go check at sunrise to see if the Guardians are done sweeping the border. They used to only do it every 2-3 days, but something seemed to have happened to make them come back and camp along the line. He had to move Hannah twice already, looking for a spot they didn't cover, with no success. He was completely cut off from the outside world. No radio, no phone, no one to check on them on this side and tell him what's going on. He was officially dead to Gilead. But something has definitely been going on, he knows that much. Praying this something didn't affect the Handmaids or his deal with Canada, he was left to wait it out.

"So is it a boy or a girl?" Hannah asked suddenly, making Nick jump out of his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Did Mommy have a boy or a girl?"

"Ah... its a girl." He gave her a little smile. "She is in Canada with your Dad".

"I've always wanted a sister", Hannah said, content with the news. "I hope her hair is long and I can braid it!"

Nick smirked at her excitement.

"She's still little, so it might be not long enough", he warned her. She shrugged.

"I'll wait", she bit her lip, thinking about something.

Nick knew she'll ask questions. But he didn't expect this one.

"Are you her Daddy?" Hannah asked, looking him straight in the eyes. He couldn't lie to her. She had something about her, something she obviously got from her mother, that he wasn't able to resist. He was never able to say no to June. As much as he tried. He learned that eventually it is easier to give in a little to gain a much better return, but in his relationship with her daughter he wasn't expecting anything. She didn't scratch his eyes out and didn't run when he pretty much kidnapped her, and that was all he hoped for. So with that question out in the open, he couldn't hide the truth. So he nodded slightly. Hannah didn't seem surprised at all.

"That's cool. So we'll have two Dads. The smart one, who wears glasses, and the cool one, with guns and secrets!"

Nick scoffed, but felt a sting of burning in his chest hearing Hannah's picture of their future. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that he probably wouldn't be around much. Or at all. So they'll have one Dad. The smart one, with glasses. The one June chose when she was free to choose. So he just smiled to her, and let her chat about the things she wanted to say to her Dad when she sees him. He never actually told her they were going to Canada, but somehow she figured it all out. Must have heard stories from her Martha.

_**Past**_

"Just tell her the truth. You can't make any deals with me because of my connection to the Sons of Jacob. Don't mention what I asked you. She'll find out eventually if it works out. Until then it's better for her not to know."

"Will do. Thank you, Commander Blaine."

They shook hands.

Nick pulled up the collar of his jacket and took out the cigarette and his lighter from his chest pocket as he stepped out of the building. He gave them everything he could at the moment. But he couldn't follow June's plan as it would jeopardize his. It took him months to get where he is right now, and as much as he wanted to help June and put her mind at ease, he couldn't. She'll forgive him, if it works. God, he hoped it would work.

Holly is safe where she is, and she will stay there until he gets her sister. That's his priority right now. But first, he had to die.


End file.
